This week’s episode of the Bachelorette

Abc’s the Bachelorette: the one night a week women across America get to sit on the couch with a bottle of wine, salty popcorn and live vicariously through some lucky-ass chick. With 25+ guys to choose from, she’s got more options than the dollar menu.

giphyjojo

Bring on the men!

The occupations range from a firefighter, a retired pro-quarterback and that’s right, a professional hipster… And being from Portland myself, that’s a new one for me.

Of course the night got awkward quickly with a (guard and protect your heart) Casey-like character, James. This uber bachelor fan even practiced his rose acceptance speech in the mirror… Lets hope it’s his sense of humor.

Don’t forget this gem: Evan-an Erectile Dysfunction Specialist. ABC must have had fun casting this season. But I can’t judge, I’m over here like…

giphyisla

In all seriousness the night took a turn for the better when the guys stepped out of the limo and showed they were just as nervous as JoJo was to get the night started. After many drinks were pounded, guys like Alex with his Where’s Waldo socks started showing off with pushups, and Damn Daniel became a professional belly-button poker/naked swimmer…Awkward..

giphydamn daniel

Skipping ahead to the rose ceremony, JoJo was ready to give out her roses…And then Jake walked in..I think it’s safe to assume we all got excited for the rejection of the century when fame whore Jake stops by and professes his undying love for JoJo and need to fight for her heart…Ok, well luckily he just stopped by to give her advice. –Which I’m not sure I would listen to someone’s advice after they had 25 beautiful women and chose crazy Vienna.

jason-vienna-interrupt-yell

At the end of the night a few guys went home. Who honestly cares at this point? But it seems that producers wouldn’t let JoJo part with the professional belly-button poker just yet.

JoJo’s top picks:

Jordan- received the first impression rose as well as the first passionate kiss of the season.

giphyjojokiss

Luke- Because who can say no to a sexy farmer and  war veteran?! -Plus he is from Texas, her backyard.

Chad- we saw Chad grow increasingly upset over the course of the first night, I think it’s safe to say he may become the villain, which on this show-will take you far.

giphyben

The biggest chatter I’ve heard about last night’s episode is the drunkenness.

hammered                                     If you didn’t notice, the rose ceremony went all night, which means they were drinking all night. You can tell by the interviews when the guys were being sent home it was daylight. I didn’t see any food being consumed either, in fact you magically never see contestants eat on this show.

Tune in to next week’s episode of the Bachelorette on ABC to see more drunken disasters and laughable moments.

Cheers!

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